Tuesday, March 31, 2009

nasty old fuckers

thomas jeffrey brooks is in prison for like kiddie porn or something right? and he somehow connects with this 80 year old dude named edward clayton andrews from riverside and they become pen pals. after thomas gets released from prison on parole, he still keeps in contact with edward and eventually they start GETTING IT ON. thomas is like, forty. anyway, they start fucking each other and after a while thomas stops going to some halfway house he has to report to for parole and becomes considered an escapee. this is like may of last year. so they're together and then suddenly edward disappears. he's reported missing and shortly thereafter his neighbor gets this letter out of the blue from edward, who's like "oh don't worry me and thomas are getting it on in europe and south africa, it's just a vacation" which is total bullshit and the neighbor knows it. pretty soon the authorities realize that someone is using edward's credit cards and that $92,000 had been withdrawn from edward's bank account. so they finally get around to arresting thomas around the beginning of august with all this evidence and shit but they still can't find the body. that's because in june, after edward went missing, thomas took up a little landscaping project for his landlord at this house on alabama in north park and made this little rock garden in the backyard with a gigantic concrete egg as it's centerpiece. after a few neighbors get hip to the investigation they figure the egg probably has a shitload of edward's money in it so they bust that shit open about a month after thomas gets arrested. guess what's inside? a fucking foot! thomas had suffocated edward, wrapped him up in a blanket, a plastic tarp, duct tape, and chicken wire and then entombed his ass in cement. i met one of the dudes whose house the egg was at and he said the smell was extremely fucking horrible and that the whole fucking thing was ruining his life cuz of all the time and money and shit he was being forced to put into it. is that shit crazy or what? gay murder mystery in north park! old pervs entombed in concrete by other old pervs! innocent hipsters and their rock gardens unwittingly caught in the middle of it all! i love it.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009